and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
