farters have to be the big spoon...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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