When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize