So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
