Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
