best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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