his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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