all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
