I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
