i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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