Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
