i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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