I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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