It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My vagina is very pro this idea
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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