i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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