Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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