bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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