who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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