I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
