Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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