Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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