She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
