Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
