I bet he comes in French.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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