I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
