i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
