Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
