I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
