i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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