On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
