He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
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All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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