Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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