some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
