So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize