I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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