what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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