Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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