He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
