You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
did i walk over a car last night?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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