bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize