He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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