Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
