i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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