I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
