Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
