When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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