he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
