So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
