Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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