Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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