I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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