What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
