Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
