every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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