i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
