you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
