also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize