I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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