So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize