Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
