im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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