You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
