Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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